WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? (CIRCLE Y OR N)

Transitioning from life as a student to life as a young professional is definitely an adjustment – 40 hour work weeks, fewer nights out, paying bills (and more bills), considering if my insurance will cover an appointment before making it, going to bed earlier than I have since middle school, saving money for retirement (hah!)…the list can go on. But the biggest, and most surprising, adjustment is figuring out how to make new friends. I will go out on a limb here and say that I’m an outgoing person. I generally have no problem starting or carrying on a conversation. I even stayed in my college town to work, and am comfortable with the city.

But by the end of last May, nearly every single one of my friends moved. I would go to places where a mere few weeks earlier knew or recognized 90 percent of the people there, and not know a soul. I felt like I was back to the first day of third grade starting at a new school after moving over the summer. That day, I walked into the classroom attached to my Mom’s arm with the strength of a Vulcan death grip seeing all of the unfamiliar eyes on unfamiliar faces stare at me. I didn’t even know where the nearest bathroom was. Scarring childhood memory aside, I eventually made plenty of friends and loved my school.

So, if as a third grader I could start the year barely able to let my Mom leave the room and end up with friends, what is stopping me as an adult? Upon reflection, it becomes obvious what the largest obstacle is to making new friends as a working professional. From kindergarten to senior year of college, we are constantly surrounded by people our own age. It’s pretty safe to say, most first-job offices are not full of 22-25 year olds eager to be your BFF.

Meeting other YPs (center with black skirt) at a Grand River Connection event

An initial thought to finding people in their mid-twenties is at a bar. However, I would advise against going to a bar alone (for many reasons, but mostly because that would make you a creeper), and going with friends requires making friends first. A different way to find young professionals is to join a young professionals group. It seems like a no-brainer, but I have found that a lot of people don’t realize these exist. Literally Google “young professionals [your city]” and it’s highly likely you will find one, if not more, groups. Look at their calendar and figure out when the next event is, then actually go. I started attending events for the local Grand River Connection group and have made some great (no pun intended) connections and actually met other cool YPs in Lansing.

Another way I have met new people is by turning my interests into opportunities.

Tennis

• I found a class at the local indoor facility, and now play once a week.

Dogs

• I recently started volunteering at the local Humane Society where it’s always easy to strike up a conversation with a cute puppy in hand.

With another local YP volunteering at the Alzheimer’s Association eventEvent planning

• I volunteered to help the Alzheimer’s Association plan an event and joined a committee with other local YPs.

Guilty pleasure TV shows

• I invited an acquaintance over to watch the latest episodes, and we now get together frequently.

Current friends and network

• It’s also always a good idea to keep your network in mind. Who do you know that may know other people in your city they can connect you with? One of my friends introduced me to her roommate she went in blind with. Her roommate happens to be a fun person to hang out with and will be in Lansing for another year finishing grad school.

I don’t think I will ever replace some of the friendships I have built over the years even though many of them are now long-distance. But having friends to hang out with is an important part of work-life balance and overall happiness. By putting myself out in the community, I have had the chance to meet other people my age. When I meet someone I think I can get along with, I am sure to get their card or number. Then, I try to initiate a time to get together whether it’s to go to the next YP group event, watch some mindless TV or play with puppies. I also keep in mind that at some point, everyone feels the same third-grade anxiety of meeting new people and most are not maxed-out on friends.

How do you make new friends? Any tips on meeting new people?